9.18.2009

reminiscing...
do YOU remember what you were doing on 12/1/08 for 13 straight hours? I do. and I got to thinking today more about when we want to have baby #2. NOT anytime soon...no worries. But I was just thinking of our family and our future and what that might look like.

and then, it hit me. baby #1 weighed 10lb 2oz. usually babies get bigger as they go. and I was 3 days early! good gosh what's going to happen to me when it's time to deliver baby #2?! what if we happen to have 3? or 4? (just kidding.) but SERIOUSLY! what the HECK am I gonna do? I love our baby girl, and I definitely want her to have sibling(s), but I'm pretty much scared to death to deliver another baby! especially when, yes, TECHNICALLY I had an epidural but when it still literally feels like you can feel EVERYTHING, back labor included, and rolling over to stand on your knees and elbows doesn't relieve the pressure nor is it any fun at all while having contractions, and all you can think about is getting thru the next 45 seconds, I'm not super excited about pushing another 10lb+ (albeit bundle of joy) weight out. then again, I wouldn't vote for a c-section either. SO. that's where I'm at. thankfully I'm not pregnant again (yet) so that it's not like the count-down has begun or anything.

just voicing my thoughts and insecurities and HUGE FEARS. I mean, yes, we did set the record @ st. lukes east for the biggest V birth thus far at their hospital. so that's saying something. but I definitely don't feel the need to break that record now either.

regardless, I wouldn't change a dang thing.

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